okay pat passed out under dana's car
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
