Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
North Korea, Best Korea!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
