Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
