tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize