Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I touched a dick in church today
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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