I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
