I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
