I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
