Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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