Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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