I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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