so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
