We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
