i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
