I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
