I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
