I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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