You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
