I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
