Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
