it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
