We're facebook friends in real life
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize