During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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