I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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