that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize