I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
