I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
