Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
