I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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