i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
