You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize