I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
