Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
