So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
