I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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