so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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