Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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