I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
