It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if only i could text you this smell
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
