Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want to be your penis for a week.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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