I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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