Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
