You're completely useless in the revolution.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
