The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
