Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
