relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
