awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
