i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
