This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
