I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize