so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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