meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
