Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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