East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize