dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
