I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
