hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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