worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
