At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
